10 Tips to Get Your Child to Listen to You

by | Apr 26, 2023 | Communication, Respect | 0 comments


Hello parents! Wondering how to get your child to listen to you? Do you ever feel like you’re talking to a brick wall while trying to communicate with your children? You ask them to do something, and they act like they didn’t even hear you. Or worse, they outright refuse to listen. It can be frustrating and make you feel like you’re not being heard or respected.

As a parent, I understand the importance of good communication with your children. It’s essential for building trust, creating a positive relationship, and helping your children grow into responsible adults. But let’s face it, getting children to listen can be a challenge, especially as they grow older and become more independent.

So, how can you get your children to listen to you? The good news is that there are many ways to make it easier. In this article, I’m going to share with you 10 effective strategies to get your children to listen to you. These tips have worked for many parents, including myself, and I believe they can work for you too.

But before we dive into the tips, it’s important to understand why children might not be listening. Maybe they’re distracted by something else or don’t understand what you’re asking them to do. Or perhaps they’re feeling overwhelmed or frustrated themselves. By understanding why children may not be listening, we can adjust our approach and find more effective ways to communicate.

So, get ready to take some notes, and let’s start improving communication, building stronger relationships, and get your child to listen to you.

Establishing Authority and Respect

As parents, it’s important to establish your authority and earn your children’s respect. This doesn’t mean being a dictator or demanding obedience at all times, but rather setting clear boundaries and expectations for behavior.

One way to establish authority is by being consistent in your parenting approach. If you tell your children they can’t have dessert before dinner, stick to it. If you say they need to clean up their toys before watching TV, enforce it. Children thrive on routine and predictability, and by following through on your expectations, you’re showing them that you mean what you say.

Another way to earn respect is by listening to your children and valuing their opinions. When you ask for their input, consider their ideas, and acknowledge their feelings, you show them that you respect them. This, in turn, can make them more likely to listen to you and follow your guidance.

It’s also important to avoid yelling or using harsh language when disciplining your children. Instead, try to stay calm and use a firm, but respectful tone. Remember, you’re the adult in the situation, and modeling good behavior is essential for your children to learn how to handle their emotions and communicate effectively.

Establishing your authority and earning your children’s respect will create a more positive and cooperative environment in your home. And who knows, you may even find that your children start listening to you more often without you having to ask!

Encouraging Positive Behavior

One of the most effective ways to get your children to listen to you is by encouraging positive behavior. Instead of focusing on what they’re doing wrong, try to catch them doing something right and praise them for it.

For example, if your child puts away their toys without being asked, say something like, “Wow, I really appreciate you cleaning up your toys all by yourself! That shows responsibility and independence.” Acknowledging and praising their positive behavior reinforces the idea that good behavior is valued and encouraged.

It’s also important to set your children up for success by giving them clear expectations and goals. Instead of saying, “Stop being so messy!” try saying, “I expect you to put your clothes in the hamper every day.” This gives them a specific task to focus on and makes it more likely they’ll succeed.

Another way to encourage positive behavior is by offering rewards for good behavior. This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or expensive but could be as simple as extra playtime or a special treat. By rewarding your children for their positive behavior, you’re reinforcing the idea that good behavior is valued and appreciated.

Remember to get your child to listen to you if you are positive and encouraging rather than negative and critical. By focusing on the positive and encouraging good behavior, you create a more supportive and cooperative relationship with your children.

family, beach, people, Get Your Child to Listen

Effective Communication

Communication is key in getting your children to listen to you. It’s important to speak to them clearly and respectfully and to listen to what they have to say as well.

One way to communicate effectively with your children is by using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” try saying, “I feel frustrated when you don’t listen to me.” This puts the focus on your own feelings and makes it less confrontational.

It’s also important to make sure you’re on the same page as your children. Ask them if you’re unsure what they’re thinking or feeling! Encourage open communication by listening to their responses without judgment or criticism.

Another way to communicate effectively is by using positive language. Instead of saying, “Stop hitting your sister!” try saying, “Let’s use our words instead of hitting.” This not only discourages negative behavior but also encourages positive behavior.

And don’t forget about nonverbal communication! Your body language and tone of voice can say just as much as your words. Make sure you’re sending the right message by using a calm and respectful tone of voice and maintaining eye contact.

By communicating effectively with your children, you’re building a stronger and more positive relationship with them. Children who feel heard and understood are more likely to listen to and respect their parents.

Understanding Child Development

It’s important to remember that children are constantly growing and changing physically and mentally. Understanding child development can help you better communicate with your children and adjust your expectations accordingly.

For example, young children may have difficulty sitting still or paying attention for long periods, as their attention span is still developing. Instead of expecting them to sit quietly for an hour, try breaking up activities into shorter periods and offering breaks in between.

It’s also important to remember that children learn through play. Encourage their curiosity and creativity by providing age-appropriate toys and activities that allow them to explore and learn.

As children age, they may become more independent and want to assert their opinions and ideas. This is a normal part of development and should be encouraged. Instead of dismissing their ideas, listen to them and engage in a respectful discussion. Your child will listen to you more often when you show that you are open to their thoughts and ideas.

Understanding child development can also help you recognize when your child may need extra support or intervention. For example, if your child is struggling with reading, it may be a sign that they need extra help from a tutor or teacher.

Understanding child development can create a more supportive and nurturing environment for your children. When children feel understood and supported, they’re more likely to listen to and respect their parents.

Enforcing Consequences

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children may still misbehave. In these cases, it’s important to enforce appropriate and effective consequences.

The key to enforcing consequences is to make sure they’re consistent and related to the behavior in question. For example, if your child refuses to clean up their toys, they could lose the privilege of playing with those toys for a set amount of time.

It’s also important to make sure the consequence is age-appropriate and not overly harsh. For example, sending a young child to their room for the entire day may be too severe and not effective in teaching them to correct their behavior.

When enforcing consequences, it’s important to remain calm and firm. Avoid yelling or using physical punishment, as this can be harmful and ineffective. Instead, use a calm and respectful tone of voice and explain the reason for the consequence.

It’s also important to follow through with the consequence. If you say your child will lose screen time for a day, make sure you stick to that. Otherwise, your child may not take future consequences seriously.

Finally, following up with your child after the consequence has been served is important. Use this as a teaching opportunity to discuss why their behavior was unacceptable and how they can improve.

By enforcing consequences effectively, you’re teaching your children that there are consequences for their actions and helping them learn to make better choices in the future.

Positive Parenting Techniques

Positive parenting is all about creating a nurturing and supportive environment for your children. Positive parenting techniques help your children develop self-esteem, confidence, and a positive attitude towards themselves and the world around them.

One important positive parenting technique is to focus on your child’s strengths and successes, rather than just their failures. Celebrate their accomplishments and help them build on their strengths, rather than just criticizing them for their mistakes.

Another important technique is to use positive reinforcement. Praise your child for their good behavior and effort, and use rewards such as stickers or extra playtime to encourage positive behavior.

It’s also important to be a good role model for your children. Show them what kind, respectful, and responsible means being, and they’ll be more likely to emulate your behavior.

Positive parenting also involves effective communication. Listen to your child’s ideas and feelings, and respond with empathy and understanding. Use a calm and respectful tone of voice, even when you’re upset or frustrated.

Finally, positive parenting involves setting clear expectations and boundaries while allowing your child room to grow and learn. Be consistent in your rules and consequences, and make sure your child knows what’s expected of them.

By using positive parenting techniques, you’re creating a loving and supportive environment that will help your children thrive. When children feel loved and supported, they’re more likely to listen to and respect their parents, as well as, your child is more likely to listen to you.

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

As parents, it’s important to maintain a healthy relationship with our children. This means creating a positive and loving bond that will last a lifetime.

One important aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship is spending quality time with your child. This can involve doing fun activities together, such as playing games or going for a walk. It’s also important to listen to your child and show an interest in their hobbies and interests.

Another important aspect is showing your child love and affection. Hug them, tell them you love them, and make sure they feel valued and appreciated. This will help build their self-esteem and confidence.

It’s also important to be present for your child. Put away distractions such as phones and computers, and give them your full attention when they’re speaking to you. This will show them that they’re important to you and that you value their thoughts and feelings.

Maintaining a healthy relationship also involves setting healthy boundaries. Be clear about your expectations and rules, but also allow your child to have some independence and make their own decisions. This will help them develop into confident and responsible adults.

Finally, staying positive and maintaining a sense of humor is important. Don’t take yourself too seriously, and be willing to laugh and have fun with your child. This will create a positive, lighthearted atmosphere to help your relationship thrive.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with your child creates a loving and supportive environment that will help them grow and thrive. A strong bond with your child is one of the most important things you can build as a parent, and it will benefit both you and your child for years to come.


In conclusion, getting your child to listen to you is a challenging but important aspect of parenting. You can create a positive and supportive environment by establishing authority and respect, encouraging positive behavior, practicing effective communication, understanding child development, enforcing consequences, using positive parenting techniques, and maintaining a healthy relationship.

Remember, parenting is a journey, and making mistakes along the way is okay. What’s important is that you’re committed to being the best parent you can be and creating a loving and supportive environment for your child to thrive in.

So, if you’re struggling with getting your child to listen, don’t give up! Try implementing our discussed techniques and see what works for you and your child.

And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsure, don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a professional. Parenting can be tough, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Are you ready to improve your relationship and get your child to listen to you? Start implementing these techniques today and see the difference it can make. And if you found this article helpful, please share it with other parents who may benefit from these tips. Together, we can create a supportive community of parents who are committed to raising happy and healthy children.


Q: How long does it take for these techniques to work?

A: It varies depending on the child and the situation, but your approach must be patient and consistent. Don’t expect immediate results, but with time and effort, you should see improvements in your child’s behavior and communication.

Q: What if my child still doesn’t listen even after trying these techniques?

A: If you’ve tried these techniques consistently and over a period of time and your child is still not responding, it may be time to seek the help of a professional. A therapist or counselor can help you and your child work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to the behavior.

Q: Is yelling at my child if they’re not listening okay?

A: Yelling can harm your child’s behavior and can lead to feelings of fear and anxiety. Instead of yelling, try using a calm and assertive tone to get your message across. Remember, children learn by example, so model the behavior you want to see in your child.

Q: What if I feel overwhelmed and stressed out as a parent?

A: It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed out as a parent. Remember to take time for yourself and practice self-care. Seek support from friends, family, or a professional if you feel overwhelmed. And don’t be too hard on yourself – parenting is a challenging journey and no one is perfect.

Q: How can I make sure I’m practicing positive parenting techniques?

A: Positive parenting is all about creating a supportive and loving environment for your child. Some key components include setting clear boundaries and expectations, practicing effective communication, using positive reinforcement, and modeling positive behavior. Remember, it’s not about being perfect but about being consistent in your approach.

Q: What if my partner and I have different parenting styles?

A: It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your parenting styles and to find a middle ground that works for both of you. Remember, parenting is a team effort, and presenting a united front to your child is important. Consider seeking the help of a professional if you’re having trouble finding common ground.

Denny Strecker

Denny Strecker owns and operates Prestige Martial Arts, where he has taught children how to develop their Confidence, Discipline, and Leadership Skills since 1997.

Denny is also the author of the Amazon Best-Selling Book
“How to Double Your Child’s Confidence in Just 30 Days”

Denny Strecker

Child Leadership Coach

How To Teach Your Child Caring

How To Teach Your Child Caring

Introduction Respect is a fundamental value that is crucial in shaping a child's character, future relationships, and to teach your child caring. It is essential to teach children respect for authority figures, their peers, and the world around them. When children...